Mercedes Bazan–I'VE LOST CONTROL
"Too much control and it feels stiff, too little and it can fall apart. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, where you don’t know exactly what’s happening, but it feels right.”
IG:@mechibaz
Q: What does “I’ve lost control” mean to you—as an artist and as a person?
Bazan: I think it means something’s shifted—like I’m not holding everything together anymore, and maybe that’s okay. As a person, it’s a bit scary. As an artist, it’s usually when something more real starts to come out.
Q: Do you ever feel that losing control is a way of taking control of your truth?
Bazan: Yeah, weirdly, yes. When I stop trying to make everything look “right,” I usually end up closer to how I actually feel. It’s like letting the mess in makes the piece more honest.
Q: In your creative process, is there a moment where the art takes over? What does that feel like?
Bazan: Sometimes It’s like I stop thinking and just… do. Sometimes I finish something and don’t even remember how I got there. It’s a bit dreamy, and kind of the best feeling.
Q: When you created this graphic, where were you emotionally or mentally? Can you describe the headspace?
Bazan: I was feeling a little lost, to be honest. Not sad exactly, but kind of in a fog. Making the piece helped me find a bit of clarity, even if it wasn’t super intentional.
Q: Do you think control is something artists need—or something they should be willing to lose?
I think both. You need a bit of control to shape things, but the interesting stuff happens when you let go. I try not to hold on too tight anymore.
Q: What does “losing control” look like in your art—visually, emotionally, When you're deep in your creative flow, does it feel like you're driving—or being driven?
Visually, it probably looks a bit softer, messier, less precise. Emotionally, it feels vulnerable and scary.
Q: Do you think there’s beauty in falling apart? How do you capture that in your work?
Yes. Not in a dramatic way but in those quiet moments where things crack open a bit. I try to show that through emotion in the characters, or colors that feel a little off on purpose.
Q: Does control help or hinder your art? Or is the tension between the two where the magic happens?
Too much control and it feels stiff, too little and it can fall apart. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, where you don’t know exactly what’s happening, but it feels right.
Q: Is the character or energy in this piece meant to be breaking, awakening, or both?
I think both. Like they’re in the middle of something—breaking a little, but also maybe finding something new in the process.
Q: When people see your art for this collection, what part of themselves do you hope it stirs up?
The part of you that doesn’t have all the answers, I hope the piece speaks to that. It’s a quiet reminder that it’s okay to sit in that space. We all go through our own internal battles, and it’s often those moments that make us stronger.
